Wow, yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of my BPM. Time flies and it crawls. I am happy to be done, and just starting to feel like BRCA is no longer ruling my life. Feeling a little more detached from the whole situation. I no longer feel defined by my BRCA+ status.
Still have work to do on the scars. They are improving, with only small areas of firm, indurated tissue above the drain sites. Not very consistent with the scar tape, which won't stay on without other tape, which irritates my skin. The mederma is more tolerable, but to be applied 4 times per day. Not that organized. One small area, where the scar is stuck down to tissue beneath causing a nice divot.
Proud to have made it to the pool for swimming 2 mornings this week. 6:10 AM today. Wimping out and using a rash guard under my swim suit, to keep the sides of the scars hidden, and no locker room reveals yet.
Still too much cancer in my life otherwise. Good friend flew through 12 sessions of radiation to her brain to treat a ventricular met causing hydrocephalus and confusion. She is much better, but they are chasing the radiation with a new IV chemo, approved this spring for kidney cancer. Holding our breath as chemo has generally put her in the ICU with complications. TORISEL is the first mTOR inhibitor approved for the treatment of patients with advanced renal cell carcinoma (RCC).
Two new recent cancer pain patients added to my practice.
Enjoyed two good books that helped me put my experiences in perspective.
Super Healing, by Julie Silvers, a fellow physiatrist, and breast cancer survivor, who writes about all aspects of the rehab phase, and recommends a one year plan with 6 month and monthly goals in several areas including: Exercising, Eating well to heal, Resting well to recover, Alleviating pain, Using your mind to heal your body, Monitoring your mood, Surrounding yourself with loving people, Harnessing your spiritual energy. She may even get me to sit down, write specific goals, and try to stick with them. Dad and one brother are avid personal productivity and self improvement folks, and hence I am glad to be hypocritical and not practice what I preach in this area.
Aftershock by Julie Gruman, PhD, about the initial phase after getting a devastating diagnosis. The nuts and bolts of who to tell, how to find out what you have, negotiating work, prior auths, insurance etc. Lots of reference and web links available in the book and on her web site. www.aftershockbook.com/appendices_index.php?appendix=intro
The last few paragraphs of Dr. Gruman's book really struck a chord with me.
" ... in the midst of the confusion caused by the shock of your diagnosis, it is hard to hold on to the sense that you are more than your disease. You area participant in a life that is rich with relationships and obligations and possibilities. Your life has been profoundly changed by the diagnosis of the disease.
But you are the same person. Your history, your experiences - all the things that brought you here - remain. "
Have been busy with non-BRCA stuff including staining my deck -nearly done, but unsure if there will be more 50 degree weather, building a sewing machine cabinet, photo projects, and writing some. Great self care event on Weds, went to a photo lecture. Here is a link to Mark Carlson's photos. He is a wonderful photographer, teacher and naturalist .
www.markscarlson.com/gal/gal_index.html
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