Now What?

The shock of my diagnosis is slowly lifting. I have told family. I have told bosses. Started telling friends and associates. Not yet patients.

I have a genetics counselor appointment on the 15th, more than a week away. 3 surgeon appointments on the 26 through the 28th. Way too far from now.

I have had a few concerned looks and many supportive emails. A few surprised looks from people. I have explained plans to good friends and new coworkers. In general, not as bad as expected.

I have mailed packets of information to brothers, sisters, uncles and attempted to email the same information to 2 of dad's cousins. I cheated and did not use the statistics, sparing me the nausea and the recipients the shock. I have circulated the blog address so all can delve as deeply as they like.

I have been informed that at some point, I actually need to feel what is going on. Not sure I want to do that yet. What feelings I have had so far come in shades and flavors I have not experienced before and am a little reluctant to learn about.

So... I surf the internet, and read the posts on the FORCE site. I have bought silicone bracelets in teal to match my pink one. Procrastinate work and stare into space.

Found an interesting series on my situation through another woman's eyes, on Slate. Passed a good hour doing that. http://www.slate.com/id/2102171/entry/2102173/

Only 188 hours before my meeting with the genetic counselor, who I am afraid will not tell me that I miscalculated somewhere and do not have to worry about this syndrome, or my choices.