Who else would be BRCA positive?

Below are a list of things that lead to me being here, BRCA+ and ready to take action with risk reduction surgeries, instead of here in a few years from now, with cancer.

The suprise of the situation is being replaced by the notion that it really is not random.

Hard to accept that God would intervene in so many ways to get me here, in time, I hope. Wondering why.

Hearing people say that there doesn't have to be a reason to receive God's Grace. Having a hard time accepting that. Wondering what the purpose is. Knowing that I can accept His grace and that I cannot earn it or make up for it, but wondering what the purpose is.

Having odd thoughts of an "Oh God" like scenario, except that I make a much more unlikely disciple than John Denver ever was.

I realize that there are some obvious things about me having BRCA mutation that make sense. As the oldest, I can set a good example for my cousins. (And I know Steve, that I have to put it out there, and let it sit for them to do with what they will)
As a bold person at my hospital, I can't help talk about my situation. So far, I am scaring one colleague, who knows she needs an ooph as soon as she is done having children. I have gotten the attention of a drug rep who needs to get tested, and a doc, who describes a family that sounds BRCA2+ to me, and who wants to learn about testing.

So, in addition to trying to save my own life, I guess I need to learn to accept His grace, and live well in the process.

Here is the list:
- Great aunt, a nun, tells me I am too smart to be a PT, that I should be a doctor. She later died of lung cancer, with spine mets. A non smoker. (Sorry PTs, her impression, not mine)
-Mom having LCIS (got the 1988 path report yesterday from her FP) at 48, and electing to do bpm, and thriving afterward. She is being very supportive now. -progressive aunt with bc in her 40's, opting for breast sparing procedure, having a recurrence, and raising a red flag.
- me working in a steroid research lab during and after college. One of my jobs was to do RFLP (restriction fragment length polymorphism) DNA testing on mouse tails. (Turns out my mutation, C61G is the only one that they test for with that procedure. May be why the turn around time was so short for me. )
- sister diagnosed with melanoma on her face, age 39. All clear since.
- my cousin's hs(high school) friend and my hs friend with bc (breast cancer) in 2005. And me ending up riding a bike 150 miles, major torture, to support her during chemo. Unfortunately I was so out of shape she had to wait for me.
-cousin getting her mom to test. (cousin is negative and her three girls don't have to worry.)
- good friend diagnosed with metastatic kidney CA. New oral chemo agents. Hospitalized May through July and 2 weeks in November. Doing well 20months out.
- another friend with bc in 2006
-My paternal aunt being very proactive regarding sharing her BRCA1 + status with family. As it was, it took this very interested physician 9 months to get my willing father tested.
-friend getting her bpm in 2 weeks,
-grandma, at 92, pleasantly demented, keeps asking why the lord has not taken her home yet. Not sure I will be able to explain to her, why her family still needs her here, to get us all through testing and hard decisions. (In my spaciest moment of the week, I was able to get her falling on the floor laughing on Saturday. I picked her up at her nursing home, took her to McDonalds, ordered and then reached for my wallet. Not there. Oops. Had to cancel order, hold grandma up while she was laughing and stumbling across the parking lot, and then took her to my house for dinner 20 miles away. ) Even without her memory Grandma holds the family together. She tested negative.
- Young colleague struggling with an ovca family.
- Another colleague's mom starting chemo for ovca.
- 2 colleagues diagnosed with pancreatic CA in past 6 months.
- cousin called after my GC appt. While in the hospital waiting for her mom's skin graft, met a high school acquaintance waiting to get her chemo port for ovca at age 36.
- study that shows that in the Ashkenazi population, being thin as a teen and exercising as a teen help delay the hereditary cancers. Mom did not believe in sweets and sugary snacks, so my brothers and sisters and I were all bean poles into college. All 14 of us cousins (including 8 girls. inherited grandpa's interest in sports, and played through high school and beyond. 2 ruggers, 3 bicyclists, and 3 marathoners in our gang.
Margaret, gradually getting a few of the loose threads in my head in order

I do believe in the randomness of the gene selection process at conception. I do feel blessed by the lord to have the chance to choose what to do to avoid getting cancer. I do not feel worthy.

I recognize the logic to Kushner's notion that God does not smite us and that God does not decide who to give and who to deny miracles to. I will hold on to the Catholic Christion notion of random miracles and continue to pray for them.

I am so pleasantly surprised to find so much strength in praying and feeling loved by Him.

Driving to work the next morning, this was the song on the radio.
Casting Crowns: Who I am
Not because of who I am But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done But because of who

You are I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling Lord,
You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours
Margaret, appreciating the lack of subtlety.